Stretching to make paragraphs meet.

There are nine million other things I should be doing at this moment. Okay, nine million give or take. Yet, here I am with my enormous Santa Claus coffee mug filled to the brim with goodness, and I'm contemplating taking a step back and changing my ways. Don't worry, it's nothing serious, but I'm fairly positive that I learned a valuable life lesson on Tuesday. And that, my friends, is :

Never underestimate the power of a strongly worded letter (or e-mail).

It took me far too many years, several hours of my mother complaining outloud, and a raging case of PMS (whoops) to finally write my first one. My mother had ordered a Nativity scene for our front yard Christmas display this year, and since my parents are still fairly new to ordering things online, picked a website that I could have designed better myself. Oh, wait, I did, when I was in ninth grade. My bad. So I sat down to write an e-mail from my mother to this idiotic company. It was mildly sarcastic, professional, yet fairly condescending. I loved it, I clicked send. On Tuesday we had no tracking number, arrival date, or any of the necessary information about our delivery. Today, it will be delivered by the UPS man. Upon hearing this, I thought to myself, "Hm. Well that's one way to get what I want."

Now, stay with me because tying this in to something man or twenty-something related might be tricky and stupid, but I'm going for it anyway. I guess the question I'm asking is :

How big of a bitch does one need to be, in order to get what she wants out of a relationship?

Yes, it's out there. I'll be the first to admit that I've been completely and utterly spineless in my only two relationships. I've taken a personal vow to myself, and I don't plan on letting that happen again. If it keeps me from being in a relationship, then so be it. Ultimatums, which my friends have often suggested I give out, I have never followed through on, and have usually feared issuing. It's not my style, but I think I have an argument for this. Sure, issuing an ultimatum may get me what I want, but is it really worth it? I feel so drained from approximately 4 years of serious dating that I'm not sure any work is worth it. I'm aware that they say it's not easy, and that it will take a lot of work when that true love comes along, but I think I have a different opinion. Will work really feel like work, or when it's right will the "work" just come along naturally.

Since the two times I've been in love have caused me pain, angst, immense anxiety, stress, and sadness..

I have this idea, that true love might be easy, and it will feel like the song "Home" by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros.

That's just my wish.