The one where she writes a mission statement.

Well if anyone was wondering, I accomplished the inevitable and made a complete and utter fool of myself on Valentine's Day. Mission accomplished. Now that our favorite Hallmark holiday has passed, I can get one with myself and reflect a bit. Currently, I'm listening to the song "Talk Tonight" by Oasis, reminiscing about my high school days. Things have changed since then, but not as much as I would prefer. At least I know it's no longer my raging hormones causing me to daydream about the opposite sex for hours on end. And I no longer do it for hours on end,thank you very much.

After the whirlwind of this weekend it's somehow Monday again (my least favorite of the days of the week), and I'm practicing a slightly more relaxed version of my usual weekly brain analyzing. I've heard some stories lately, which brings me to my point. Men and commitment. I happen to be a woman, and even I shudder at the word commitment. It's gross. Anyway, it has been brought to my attention that a man who is interested in a girl, in the I "like like" you way for all you 90s kids, will still have issues with getting in too deep, even if the girl is staring at him like he's nuts. So whether you hold hands with fingers laced or hands cupped, when did it become a problem that some guys are taking things way too seriously? There are still females out there who aren't looking to tie you down and take you home to mom and dad. Personally, I for one, try to avoid talking about feelings at all costs. Natural progression, progressing naturally. I like that. I try not to expect anything from anyone.

Since I know my reasoning for certain hangups, I think it's safe to say that much of this strange male behavior comes from negative past experiences. And I do feel guilty, partially, seeing as at one point in time I was a psycho girlfriend. Paranoid, clingy, etc etc. The paranoia was slightly

justified because I'm preternaturally disposed to it. Not my fault. I found that a lot of the other issues I just mentioned however, were me acting because I thought that was how girlfriends were supposed to act. When compared to one another, all of my relationships have been very different. Cases in which I cared too much, didn't care enough, and other times when I should have taken a step back and considered a more tactful manner of carrying myself. So I'm at the point where I'm ready to just take a deep breath, relax, stand still with someone and just be myself.

So this is my mission statement :

I am not looking for someone to shop with me at Bed Bath & Beyond on Sunday afternoons during football season. In fact, I would much prefer sitting at home, drinking beer, eating something that is terrible for my health, and watching my team lose

(Cleveland fans have it rough). I don't want to talk about my feelings, unless they have bubbled to a point of no return. It's hurtful bubbling, I'm only trying to help you out here. I enjoy watching a wide variety of movies. Sometimes they are crappy chick flicks, and I won't subject you to those. I want to have fun, do things that both people in the "relationship" want to do, and every once in a while be treated like a lady that you're trying to woo. Holidays, special occasions. Not expecting the world. Just be nice. Oh, and I won't ever be looking for someone. I guess this is me, reminding myself that I like me. Xoxo - Me

This entire entry sounded uber-chick like, and I hate myself for that. Ew.

Next entry will focus on micro-brews and music. Sounds delicious.